Falaffel Fantasy Football Blog

1/4 Pounder Review

2006-10-03T01:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we are a quarter of the way home.  The winners have clearly separated from the losers at this point.  Winners so far are Feet State, Sultani, Knights (can’t believe my eyes) and Victory Brothers (really can’t believe my eyes).  Losers are Dorothy Mantooth, Jagshemash, Goodfellas and Dawgs (can’t believe my eyes).

This week we start inter-conference play so things will continue to get interesting.  Interesting match-ups include two 3 – 1 teams squaring off, Feet State at Victory Brothers.  Also, in the Persian Bowl, Cheeky Sharks are facing The Dunn Boys.  What is the over/under on the amount of money that will be wagered on this game?  I say $100 easy.  The Knights will smoke Big Pimpin.  I repeat, the Knights will smoke Big Pimpin and advance to a 5 – 0 start, wow.  Big smiles at Knights Park.

Great Draft Picks thus far:

Donovan McNabb – Cheeky Sharks, By far the best QB in the league and smoking Mannings, both of them.

Chad Pennington – Victory Brothers, 6th best QB in the league and has yet to start one game.

David Carr – Jagshemash, 7th best QB in the league, who would have thunk?

Charlie Frye – Knights, 8th best QB in league, wow

Brian Westbrook – Feet State, Best RB in league even though he missed a game.

Rudi Johnson – Feet State, Jiminy Christmas, does Mike have the 2 best RBs in the league?

Steven Jackson – Knights, SJax is getting it down.

Frank Gore – Knights, Jiminy Christmas, does Scott have the next 2 best RBs in the league?  Quite possibly the pick of the draft.

Laurence Maroney – Knights, Wow, Knights really boosted the RB scouting department.  3 out of the top 10 best RBs in the league.

Andre Johnson – The Dunn Boys, Come back year for AJ.

Marques Colston – Old Spicy, Great pick up for Spicy.  This guy looks like the real deal.  No wonder Donte was flinged to Philadelphia via his rubber band hammys.

Bernard Berrian – Feet State, Another great pick-up

Kellen Winslow – The Franchise, Finally, this guy doesn’t crash into something and becomes the best TE in the league.

Busts

Daunte Culpepper – 22nd best QB
Kurt Warner – 18th best QB and out of work
Drew Bledsoe – 23rd best QB with TO
Jake Plummer – 29th best QB with starting weeks of 1.5 and 5.9

Tiki Barber – 25th best RB.  Never go against your team Nima.
Lamont Jordan – 36th best RB.  Fatass.
Cadillac Williams – 41st best RB.  This Cadillac is stalled.

Larry Fitzgerald – 21st best WR.  Hopes, dreams, wishes, down the drain.
Anquan Boldin – 25th best WR.  See above.
Plaxico Burress – 29th best WR.  Idiot.

Bad Luck

Dorothy Mantooth being 1 – 3 in a tough division with an average of 104.8 points against.

The Franchise in that same division leading the league in total points but only managing a 2 – 2 record.

Jagshemash having 3 coulda wons if he only started the right players.

Good Luck

Victory Brothers being 3 – 1 averaging only 82.4 points for.

Sultani having 3 woulda losts  but starting the right players.

Questions

Valley

It’s a 5 to 6 horse race with only 4 slots.  Which team steps up to get that last remaining playoff spot.  I project Feet State, Sultani and The Franchise as the favorites.  That leaves Cheeky Sharks, Dy-No-Mite and Big Pimpin on the outside looking in.  Only one of those 3 will advance to the playoffs if my three favorites qualify.

City

How far will the Knights go undefeated?  Which Astor will make it to the playoffs.  Will a Lessem squeak in?  Do the Victory Brothers have what it takes to win the division?

Power Rank

Knights are top of the food chain?  Wow.  Cheeky Sharks come back to earth after talking a whole wallop of jibberish crap about how good their team is.

Confidence Pool

Tony leads with 41 correct.  Best ESPN analyst is Mark Schlereth with 40 wins.

Survivor Pool

All teams still alive.

Good luck.  Please visit the links to the right to give the commish a couple shekels.

Game Over Man...

2005-11-02T07:43:00.000-08:00

As I predicted at the outset of the season, Jordan’s Dawgs are the strongest team out there, by a mile.  Jordan is averaging an incredible 130 points per week.  They also have a good chance to sweep both total points and head-to-head, a feat I thought we would not see for a while after my SuperCats did it two years ago.  Congrats Jordan.

The Valley remains a tight playoff race with Dunn Boys, Silent Treatment and Old Spicy angling for the remaining two playoff spots.  The remaining conference participants, Chancellor’s Lackey, Knights and Big Pimpin all need a miracle.  I say see yous next year.

In the City conference, Seth’s Sexpots sit atop the group followed closely by my SuperCats and Tony’s GoodFellas.  Casa Vito representing.  I asked Tony how badly he wanted to make the playoffs and he told me, “A little bit, little bit.”

Both Tony and I are still duking it out over in the Survivor Pool, going on seven weeks now.  Tony almost got me when the Steelers nearly lost to the Jaguars on Monday night.

Over in the NFL Pick ‘em league, surprise surprise, the two greatest handicappers this city has seen are deadlocked, Jason/David and I, of Bottle Rockets fame.  This one will go down to the wire.  Tony trails us by two games.

One interesting match-up this week; Dunn Boys vs. Silent Treatment will help see who gets the edge of the last playoff spot in the Valley.

Inside the Numbers: Jordan is one full week ahead of all teams.  Check out this bar chart: http://football25.myfantasyleague.com/2005/options?L=39488&O=20.  Seth has gotten almost as many points from his QB as he has from his three wide receivers.

Go get ‘em.

First deal of the basketball fantasy league

2005-10-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

Seth, ever the wheeler dealer makes his first deal before the season starts. Casa Vito is proud to join the Schur fantasy dynasty. (Not pictured, Victor)

Things are getting clearer...

2005-10-10T22:36:00.000-07:00

Five weeks down and things are getting a lot clearer.  First off, the Angels suck.  Secondly, I told you at the outset, the Dawgs are the team to beat, and they are.  Third, if I am the commish of this league in 2006, it will be as the commish of an auction league.  Fourth, ah fuck it, leave it at three.

Let’s look at the conferences.  First off, the City.  Sethie is sitting pretty overlooking the City at 3-1.  He’s a contender and we’ll see him in the playoffs.  Cheeky Sharks and GoodFellas round out the remaining playoff spots, both at 2-2.  Kosher Dog is leading the conference is total points but last in head-to-head.  Dem be the breaks.  Surf or ski on that team, he scored 33 this week. Dy-No-Mite, I’d like to re-welcome you to Falaffel.  Jason tried to tell you this was no joke.  In fact, wait till the auction draft next year. (

In the Valley Conference, the Lessem Brothers are running away with things, especially Jordan.  646.5 points after 5 weeks is incredible.  He’s averaging 129.3 a week, without his top wide receiver?  Jeremy shares a 4-1 record with him as does Nima though my bet is at least one of those teams loses next weekend.  I have already pointed to left field on the message board over Nima.  Spicy remains in the thick of things at 3-2.  Knights and Pimpin are D-E-A-D.  Rich is an also ran at this point though that may change.

The upcoming schedule is all inter-conference.

1/3 Season Awards

Best QB: Bulger – Cheeky Sharks
Best RB: LT – Sexpots
Best WR: Steve Smith – Dawgs
Best TE:  Gates – Cheeky Sharks
Best K  :  Rackers – Sexpots
Best D  :  Colts – Knights
Best Team: Dawgs
Worst Team: Big Pimpin

Bust-O-Rama
P. Manning, Culpepper, Deuce, Rudi, Priest, Clinton, Jamal, Kevin Jones, Ahman, A. Johnson, Harrison, Wayne, Muhammad, Horn, Gonzalez.

Out of their Gord
Palmer, E. Manning, Westbrook, Cadillac, S. Smith, Fitzgerald, Sherry Glenn, Rackers.

Three teams left in Survivor Pool 2 and they have almost all made the same picks.  Things get interesting this week.

Pick ‘em league is very tight with only two points separating the six teams at the top.

That’s it this week.  Go get ‘em!

Auction Draft next year

2005-10-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

It is my pleasure to announce that the Falaffel league will become an Auction Draft league in 2006. Details to follow.

2005-10-06T07:07:00.000-07:00

Survivor Pool winner enjoying your money.

2005-10-06T07:04:00.000-07:00

New Red Sox fan

2005-10-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

Take me out to the ballgame. I know, wrong sport but still, very cool. Go Yanks!

Rule Update

2005-09-24T20:01:00.000-07:00

Weekly trades can be made up to 5pm each Friday (for weeks with games starting Sunday) and 5pm each Tuesday (for weeks with games starting Thursday). This is to allow owners a chance to accept or veto the trade.

Week 2 is Dunn by a Spicy Lackey Dawg

2005-09-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

Wow, some high scores this week and some bounce backs, most notably Lackey putting the kibosh to draft partner Knights and smacking him 124.8 points, even with a lame Daunte. Speaking of Knights, there are problems at The Knight Castle. Turns out GM Scott was on the trading bullhorn all night long, even asking for a McAllister Relief Fund instead of the erstwhile one for Katrina. Hoping this year would be different, the Knights are in a familiar spot, at the bottom of the conference, nearly conceding head-to-head and looking for trading action. One more pick and my team is set, NOT. Hey, at least he’s still ahead of reigning total points Champ, Big Pimpin. Olu is still trying to identify names of Kansas City ballboys who have a better chance of catching a touchdown than his starting three wide receivers. Combined.

The Lessems are in the Valley hiz-house, racking up points and victories, though Nima and Jason will see to it that Sophie gets her Choice by only allowing one Lessem into the playoffs. Less is more, as far as they are concerned.

Two perennial duds, Old Spicy and The Dunn Boys are on top of old smoky, all covered with cheese. They go head-to-head this weekend so look for there to be only two undefeated teams in the Valley next week, Silent Treatment and the winner of “Reborn Fantasy Team Bowl.” Note, Spicy is on top of the Power Rankings.

Speaking of Power Rankings and undefeated teams, the SuperCats and the Sexpots strut their stuff this week. Seth is playing with a weaker group of wide receivers than he normally has, because the less weak of the group are on bye. Meanwhile, Norv Turner will game plan intensely for the game against the Eagles. So far, he has come up with Randy, Randy and more Randy.

GoodFellas and Dy-No-Mite are out of sight. Really, the City division has not seen them. I think both are second guessing their decision to join this rough and rumble sour patch of deadly fantasy football teams. To his credit, Tony already got his money back by winning the Survivor Pool after the first week. $250 goes his way.

Speaking of Survivor Pool, if you are ever in Vegas with Omri, Jason / David or Justin / Kevin, DO NOT listen to their football picks. How can anyone lose a Survivor Pool back to back is beyond me. The Dunn Boys are on top of Pick ‘Em.

The Valley Conference has quickly turned into a two horse and one cheeky shark race, as predicted. The Sharks put up a stinker this week. Kosher Dog is 0-2 but has a respectable almost 200 points. That means, he is getting the short end of the stick schedule wise, keep an eye on him.

I predict this is the week the Valley Conference becomes a 5 team playoff race with Knights and Big Pimpin going 0-3 and going bye-bye to head-to-head. In the City, Dy-No-Mite needs a win to stay in the hunt. Crazy, after three weeks, teams might be out of the hunt?

That’s a wrap. My lock this week? Cincy is a 3 point favorite at Chicago right now. That line should jump to about 6.5 by game time.

Computer Love

2005-09-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

Some of you wanted some of the information my computer was spitting out as we were going through the draft.  Now, please note, this is based off my cheat sheet so I should be ahead on this.  Also, please note, this is mine and my cheat sheet’s opinion of how we drafted so it really counts as only that, namely, nothing.  The model takes into account Total Team Strength and Starters Only.  This serves to give an idea on team depth.

First off, starters only.  This gives a picture of the total team points a team is expected to generate, obviously, not taking injuries into account.  Here is the list:

1. Jordan          1722
2. Vic               1697
3. Seth               1689
4. Justin / Kevin     1673
5. Jeremy          1627
6. Zak / Kashi          1625
7. Nima          1622
8. Rich               1618
9. Scott          1566
10.Omri          1550
11.Jason / David     1524
12.Tony          1458
13.Olu               1176

Now, total team strength:

1. Vic               2380
2. Jordan          2351
3. Seth               2219
4. Justin / Kevin     2196
5. Nima          2162
6. Jeremy          2155
7. Zak / Kashi          2126
8. Jason          2108
9. Rich               2098
10.Scott          2084
11.Omri          2016
12.Tony          1941
13.Olu               1605

Now by position, first off best starters:

QB:     Justin / Kevin
RB:     Jordan
WR:     Vic
TE:     Omri
PK:     Olu
DEF:     Justin / Kevin

Now, by position, total team strength:

QB:     Justin
RB:     Jordan
WR:     Vic
TE:     Omri
PK:     Rich
DEF:     Justin / Kevin


So, this means nothing, just a computer model.  We’ll see how it holds up.  By the way, injuries will change all of this.

The New Season is Here

2005-08-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

The New Season is Here

Well, pre-draft is complete and the new season is here. After some griping about the expansion teams, the pre-draft went underway without a hitch. Most owners seem to look forward to the league changes with the addition to two teams. The #1 pick this season seemed to be unwanted and therefore, no one better than Seth deserves it. He knew he would get it. He’s contemplating Bo Jackson with his second round pick. I’m particularly excited about the Pick ‘em and Survivor Pools this season. See you for the draft on Monday.

Welcome to a new season

2005-08-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new season. As a sign of the times, we now have a blog. Enjoy.